


In Which Osu Is Played

by davariax



Category: Homestuck, Osu! (Video Game)
Genre: Dialoglog, Imaginary Osu Beatmap, M/M, halfassed Osu research, it's a game that I wish I played but I don't really, real beatmap author though, shipfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-01
Updated: 2017-01-01
Packaged: 2018-09-13 22:04:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9144094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/davariax/pseuds/davariax
Summary: “Karkat utterly failing a human video game, Dave trying to help him, but he's just as horrible at the game.”For Liritar, as part of a secret santa/new years DaveKat swap.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Liritar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liritar/gifts).



KARKAT: STRIDER.  
DAVE: what  
KARKAT: STRIDER LOOK AWAY FROM YOUR DAMNED PROJECTION SYSTEM SCREEN AND HELP ME WITH THIS.  
DAVE: did you finally decide osu was worth a shot  
DAVE: haha i called it youd give into the human games eventually, you gotta admit we are totally superior  
KARKAT: SHUT YOUR BLABBERHOLE, YOU’D DO THE SAME THING FOR ALTERNIAN GAMES IF NOT FOR YOUR STUPID ‘IRONY’ SHTICK.  
DAVE: skateboard games and noclipping man  
DAVE: alright fine whats your question  
KARKAT: HOW THE FUCK DO YOU DO THIS.  
KARKAT: HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO PLAY THIS.  
DAVE: see just click the circles like… that  
DAVE: and you click and drag on the circles if theres a line or… curved line like that  
DAVE: and for the spinner -  
KARKAT: I’M NOT STUPID, I’VE DONE THE TUTORIAL.  
DAVE: then whats the problem  
KARKAT: THE MAP. IT’S   
KARKAT: NO, NOT THAT MAP, THAT ONE’S EASY. YOU NOOKSUCKER. THIS ONE.  
DAVE: i havent played that one  
KARKAT: WELL THEN TRY IT.  
DAVE: dude theyre not that hard whyre you asking me for help  
DAVE: fine ill give it a go  
DAVE: watch closely and learn, im only gonna do this once  
KARKAT: YEAH YEAH. INTRO SEQUENCE’S ENDING.  
DAVE: see its no big deal, just a bit faster than usual but just follow the beat and youll be fine  
DAVE: ok thats the first section and then you get some good background cutscene animation  
DAVE: hey whered you find this song this beatmap is actually pretty sweet  
DAVE: animation wise anyway  
KARKAT: OKAY GET READY, THE ARROWS ARE FLASHING.  
DAVE: i got it dont worry  
DAVE: gonna crush these dots holy SHIT  
KARKAT: YOU FUCKING GRUBHEAD, YOU SPILLED CARBONATED WATER ALL OVER THE KEYBOARD!  
DAVE: sorry  
DAVE: brb gonna get a paper towel  
DAVE: back  
KARKAT: QUOTE MARKS, “THEY’RE NOT THAT HARD”, UNQUOTE MARKS. I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERE GOOD AT THIS GAME?  
DAVE: chill that just caught me by surprise ok  
DAVE: havent played this map before  
KARKAT: GIVE IT ANOTHER GO, THEN.  
DAVE: thats what im doing right now  
DAVE: okay strider v dragonforce take two  
DAVE: aaand action  
KARKAT: JEGUS, HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO FLUB THE VERY FIRST NOTE?  
KARKAT: TEREZI’S BLIND AND SHE’D PROBABLY STILL PULL THIS OFF BETTER THAN YOU.  
DAVE: i cant hear you over the sound of these 300s  
KARKAT: WHAT 300S? YOU’RE MASSACRING THEM ALL.  
KARKAT: WOW. SOMEHOW, YOU’RE MANAGING TO DO EVEN WORSE THAN LAST TIME.  
KARKAT: EVEN THOUGH THIS IS THE “EASY PART”.  
DAVE: shoooosh  
KARKAT: DON’T PALESHOOSH ME.  
DAVE: ok fine vantas  
DAVE: ill restart again just to sate your masochistic need to assert dominance  
DAVE: strider versus dragonforce and their hyperactive psychedelic storm of a beatmap take three  
KARKAT: SWING AND A HIT, HUH. I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO LEAD IN WITH A MISS AGAIN.  
DAVE: vantas why dont you come with a mute button  
DAVE: im focusing  
KARKAT: OKAY, FINE. ONLY BECAUSE I ACTUALLY WANT TO WATCH YOU FLOUNDER.  
DAVE: .... see that wasnt too bad  
DAVE: i mean i still failed it but like  
DAVE: thats fine beginners steps and stuff  
KARKAT: YOU DIDN’T EVEN MAKE IT PAST THAT LAST SECTION LAST TIME, SO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MARGINAL IMPROVEMENT I GUESS.  
DAVE: look whos talking  
DAVE: mr ‘please help me strider senpai the dots are scaring me’  
KARKAT: I SAID NO SUCH THING.  
DAVE: you said basically that except in a slightly flatter tone  
DAVE: gotta hand it to you you got really good at the flat sarcasm really fucking fast  
DAVE: ok anyways round four  
KARKAT: I’M GOING TO MAKE SOME FOOD WHILE YOU PLAY.  
KARKAT: HOPEFULLY WHEN I COME BACK THE GREAT MASTER OF ALL GAMES SHOULD HAVE A HANDLE ON THOSE FALLING DOTS.  
DAVE: word  
DAVE: ...  
DAVE: oh youre back  
DAVE: gimme fresh popcorn  
KARKAT: HOW FAR DID YOU GET?  
DAVE: making it like halfway through the third part consistently now  
DAVE: watch  
KARKAT: NICE. STILL NOT NAILING THE 300S.  
DAVE: shut up  
KARKAT: NIIICE.  
DAVE: oh  
DAVE: haha i actually made it  
KARKAT: WITH SOMETHING AROUND 60% HEALTH, NOT TOO SHABBY FOR A WHOLE FORTY MINUTES OF REPEATED ATTEMPTS.  
DAVE: oh no  
KARKAT: WHAT?  
DAVE: oh for fucks sake theres more

**Author's Note:**

> Happy New Year - welcoming in 2017 (or 12017 if you're a Kursgesagt fan) with a bit of Davekat :)
> 
> and long writing is apparently beyond me, so more compacted writing it is


End file.
